shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You can't motorboat a personality
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
