im about as happy as oj after his trial
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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