Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
is this the sara with the beer cane?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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