You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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