3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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