And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
