At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
