I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
