hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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