And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
