Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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