chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
