it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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