would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
