Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
