part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I think i got beer on your cat.
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