So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Of course I have a pirate flag
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
