maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
