He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
