Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
