i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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