Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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