Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
