When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
