Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
