he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
