Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
