any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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