weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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