I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
