you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
