she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
