You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
