I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
