My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize