i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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