A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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