the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize