I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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