Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
