i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
