I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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