it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
