Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
