Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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