yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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