Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize