I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
