Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
