of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
