So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
