Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
