At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
