So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
