I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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