College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
