Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
