guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
