and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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