standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
