yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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