The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
