what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
