420 ftw
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
