i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize