Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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