There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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