Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
